Mother's Day 2010

I am spending my first Mother's day with my boys, Bill, my mother and other relatives in NJ.  We have just have said a formal goodbye to someone dear to us, who died about a month ago.  In addition, May 4 and May 10 are some difficult anniversaries for our boys, for us.  Mother's Day will clearly be a mixed bag for me.  So grateful for finally being their mother.  I still cannot believe it sometimes.  A and K, my beautiful boys!  So sad for the cost (and I DO NOT mean financial) which made it possible for me to be a mother.

Mother's Day will always be surrounded by these anniversaries on the calendar.  It's OK with me.  I think it is fitting as no Mother's Day will ever be simple for our family.  There will always be the reminder of another one.  I will always think of her on this day (as I do on so many other days) and I will share with her our beautiful sons, even if it is just in my dreams.  I feel very much like a co-mother, though she is not present here to experience our boys.  I feel a part of her will always be with them, that a part of her will always be with me. 

I don't want to say "Happy Mother's Day" to you, because I know many of you will share a similar experience.  What I do want to say, is that I am so happy that YOU are a mother and that YOU are about to be.  There are more YOUs going through my mind than I could possibly link.  But today, as I write this, I am thankful that I get to be a mother among all of you.  Sending love to ALL the mamas, the ones reading this and the ones we think of on this day.