Abundantly Grateful

I had such a fun day on Wednesday.  I went out to eat, bought all this stuff and had yummy coffee with my good friend J all without spending a dime.  That's right!  J took me out for my birthday ... we had yummy, spicy Thai deliciousness.  Then we spent about 2 hours at Target gathering this and that last minute thing - I spent no $$ because of all of the GIFT CARDS people gave me.  I even had a bit left over to spend online, which means MORE packages on the way!  We had coffee and then headed to a baby outlet store where I spent yet more gift cards and J fell in love with two adorable jackets for the boys, which she bought and which I love, too! 

We have an incredible community around us.  I confess I sometimes take my neighborhood, community of support and friends for granted.  Today, I am incredibly grateful for each and every one of them (you).  It really does take a village to raise a child.  The stuff, the advice, the support (how many times have I cried on YOUR shoulder?), the friendship, the love has been such a source of strength.  Financially, adopting was a leap of faith for us.  We were only able to finance it because of half a piece of property that I got from the divorce of my parents when I was about 5.  (Talk about beauty being born out of pain!)   I had no idea how much all of the extra STUFF would cost.  Yet each of you have come through, in one way or another, to support.

Our family is grateful.  Thank you so much.  May we raise boys that have generous hearts like the hearts of all of you!

Photos of the Boys

On Saturday, the 18th of December, we will meet our children for the first time. I cannot believe this is actually happening to me. It feels sort of like I am living a dream! We leave December 14th and will spend that week getting to know the city of Addis Ababa, before we get to know our Kibru and Agegnehu. Crazy. Amazing.

We leave for Ethiopia the day after my birthday and return Christmas day. Perfect, never to be surpassed Christmas and birthday! What a gift.

And I want to give a little gift to all of you who keep asking about the requisite photo montage of the boys ... check back here on Dec 18th. Your curiosity will be satisfied :)

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Note to any stalkers or crazy people planning on coming to my house to steal all our stuff while we are in Ethiopia: Our good friend Tony will be house-sitting. So sorry to disappoint. If you were going to break in, you'd be disappointed anyway! We have no TV, no fancy stereo, not even a good computer ... the good one will be with me.

Scars

I'm hitting the PAUSE button in this crazy, insane week, to reflect on new photos I saw of my sons yesterday. 

Turns out my beautiful Agegnehu, smiling bigger smiles than I've ever seen in photos, has some serious teeth issues.  His top teeth look nice, but his bottom teeth look both stained (common in Ethiopia due to something in the water) and cavity filled.  I love him just as he is, but I realize his teeth will be a barrier for how others see him here in the US (for a while, at least). 

My baby boy Kibru's pictures also showed something that made me sad - one of his eyes is only half open in a series of photos.  He either has a a sty, conjuntivitis or something else (hopefully not serious) going on with his little eye. 

Though both of these issues are small in the grand scheme of things - my boys are "healthy" and are going to be nurtured and cared into greater health - they remind me of the sad side of adoption.  We are overjoyed and overusing our share of exclamation marks because we are so thrilled to be going to get our boys.  It is a joyous occasion, a joyous season.  But it also has its scars.

I remember noticing in their referral photo, that Agegnehu had several scars on his legs and a few small ones on his head.    Kibru either had a lipstick mark or a scratch on his head.   I will never know exactly how or when they got those scars, that mark.  There is a part of their lives, filled with scars visible and invisible that I will never know fully. 

We are about to be new parents in the flesh and these photos reminded me of the vulnerability of my boys.    In seeing pictures of amazingly healthy and beautiful children adopted from Ethiopia, it is easy to forget the trauma that has led them to where they are.  My sweet boy's teeth are a reminder that he and his baby brother are survivors of more trauma than I have experienced in my 35 years of life.  They are only 3 years old and 7 months old.  They already carry so many scars.

Daily Pic ... Lovin' Laundry (for now :)

Ouch!!!

I don't know which one hurt worse ... 8 of these (9 for Bill)...

or this:

$1400 !!!!!

OUCH!!!!!

Boys, you are so WORTH it!!!

ETHIOPIA HERE WE COME!!!

We just got our travel date:  December 18th!!!!!!!!!

Which means we will probably leave on the 14th or 15th ....

That's TWO weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am on a HIGH!!!!!!!

Daily Pic .... Three Continents Aren't So Far Anymore....

This makes me smile :)

Cindy is amazing.

Don't you wish you could be as cool as she is?

Daily Pics...

I am going to try to jump start this blog, even if is with a pitiful attempt.  Since I am preparing for one of the biggest changes in my life, I want to record in some way, what is going on ... within and without.  Unfortunately, I am in a HUGE FOG these days, so the best I could come up with is "Daily Pics."  (Let's see how well I can keep this up.)  By daily, I don't necessarily mean dai-ly, as in e-v-e-r-y day, just often, as often as I can. 

For today, I have two pics.  The first one is of my fun little past times these days ... writing thank-you notes.  People have been so generous with us.  I am amazed, honored and GRATEFUL.  Sitting down and writing real little notes is one of the ways in which I can be in this moment in our lives.  I am not in front of the computer, I am not in go, go mode.  I think about the person I am writing to and about the reason why I am writing.  I feel so much joy thinking about all of the people who love us and who love our boys.  I enjoy touching pretty pen to pretty paper and sitting still.

My second picture is of the weather outside today, but also a perfect visual of my brain. Cloudy, with a chance of  ... we'll see.  Cloudy because my brain feels like mush.  Yesterday, I was running lots of errands and each time I got back in my car I would think, "I am so happy.  Why am I so happy?  Oh!"  Then, joy would rush right through me. It's not as if I don't think of the boys all day long, so I don't know what that was all about.  Lately, I also wake up really confused.  Here was my first thought this morning, which has been typical of the last week, "What day is today? (Thinking hard, thinking hard...) Thursday, it must be Thursday.  But wait, yesterday was Monday, so today must be Tuesday.  But it can't be Tuesday because yesterday .... (blah, blah, blah).  No, it really is Tuesday."  This takes about 2 minutes, when I could just roll over and read, "TUES" on my alarm clock.  But my brain is too foggy to remember that!

OK, enough for today ... on to calling travel clinics, working out, writing thank you notes, calling the pediatrician's office, Samba care and hosting a friend from out of town this afternoon...

Blog Shower Fun! Thanks, Everyone!

Our boys' library has been seriously upgraded thanks to YOU and to LAURIE!!!!  We love these books and have written who they are from on the inside cover.  We will always remember YOU when reading them :)

We've gotten a few more books that didn't make it into the picture.  You can check back on my shower blog to see updated videos of me opening those gifts :)

Things I Am Glad I Did, Wish I Had Done, Wish I Had NOT Done During My Wait

"Myselph?"  That's called too much happy stamping and a little too much ink inhalation perhaps.

Surely this was an alternative spelling in the Middle Ages?

Things I am glad I did during my wait:

1. Started a blog - it would not be an understatement to say that I would not have survived this wait without my blog community.  I had no idea that I would connect with so many people.  I had no idea that I was making FRIENDS, real friends, not virtual friends, but friendships that I hope will last a very long time.
2. Went to France - I had never been to Europe.  Going to France and being in Paris by myself is the biggest indulgence I've ever given myself.  I had such an amazing time with me, with Evelyn.  I remember the trip as though I went with a very good friend.  I loved every minute of my trip. 
   
3. Practiced Yoga - Yoga has been so grounding for me.  It reminds me that even though I can no longer run and am no longer "Ms. Super Achiever," that I am still strong.
4. Took Samba for lots of walks.  For the past two years, I've woken up to an enourmous string of big long blank slate days.  Many days had nothing planned, no structure whatsoever.   Though I know that sounds wonderful in theory, for me, it was very hard.  I had a hard time motivating myself to get up and do things.  But no matter how I felt, at some point, Samba would come and just sit and stare at me until I took her for a walk or threw her the ball in the backyard.  I was never ever sorry that I did.  I've learned that what is good for the dog is usually good for the people. Samba gave some sanity to my days.
   
5. Took a part-time job at a church.  I work 12 hrs a week, from home and I get paid pretty well to do something I enjoy.  I am basically in charge of planning/organizing adult education programs at a very liberal, very well-educated, peace & justice minded congregation. I've worked there a year now and I have found a community of support among these folks.  They threw me one of my in-person baby showers and I could not believe all of the love.  I've known many of these folks for years, but seeing one another every Sunday and collaborating on projects has strengthened our bonds.   I started a new group for parents of young children called "Parenting and Spirituality."  I am really proud of that group.  It was nice to be among people who want to raise their children more mindfully, away from all of consumerism, stress and lack of balance that seems rampant all around.  If I have time, I would love to blog about some of the things we discussed in that group. 
   

Things I wish I had done/not done during my wait:

1. I wish I had NOT gained 15 pounds.  Come on, I know you have noticed, if you have been following my blog, that I look a little different.  For the past 15 years, I have been able to maintain a certain weight by eating pretty much whatever I wanted as long as I ran.  Losing my ability to run (back issues), leaving my full time job and the stress of the wait made it a losing battle with weight gain.   I cannot fit in so many of my winter pants now, but I refuse to buy bigger pants.  Bill and I have joined a gym for the first time in 8 years.  We'll see...
2. I wish I had not spent so much time on the internet.  Lots. Of. Time. Wasted.  Not on the blogs or the friendships, but the wasted hours hitting the "refresh" button, re-checking all my e-mails, blog, Facebook, Yahoo board, etc.  (Oh, and watching Brazilian novelas!)
3. I wish I had learned Amharic.  I tried a few times.  Never did get a hold of a good book to teach me.  Never did get past the numbers and a few household words.  Lame.  Lazy.  
4.  I wish I had gone back to school to get a Master's in Early Childhood Education.  I have spent my working life focusing on school-aged children and youth.  I have been fascinated by all things young children lately (hmmm ... wonder why!).  My dream once I go back to work is to start a very high quality, comprehensive early childhood program for children and parents of low-income communities.  Of course, I think my boys will make or break this dream ... I know they will change me.  But it would be both easier to raise them and easier to reach this dream if I already had this degree under my belt.  I had no way of predicting that I would actually have the time to complete another Master's degree, so I am cutting myself some slack here, but if I knew then what I know now!
5. I wish I had not procrastinated on SO MANY THINGS.  I seemed to be floating in molasses for the past two years.  Getting the "umph" to get up and do things was more difficult than it has ever been.  Some projects got done.  Many went undone or were done at the last minute.  I wish I had spent my time a little more wisely.  
   

Thank you so much to all of you who have walked this road with me.  I've received your notes, your beads, your e-mails, your phone calls, your BOOKS :), your love and it has given me strength.  This era is coming to an end.  I am so done with it.  I will enjoy the last few blank slate days I have, but for now, I will not mourn them.  I have been readying myself for too long.  It is time to move on, don't you agree?

EVERYTHING HAPPENS!!!!

Just found out we passed 
court in Ethiopia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

I really hope, think 
we may travel before the end of the year
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miss My Blog...

A good friend gave me this card ... it says it all!

I miss writing in my blog, but I have absolutely nothing to write!  My head is at once so full that things spill out and so at a empty that I find myself at a lack for words.  So much happening.  So little happening. 

Any ideas to get me started again?

And Then There Was Stuff! (Edited **)

Grateful, grateful, grateful!  How does one raise/provide for children without a community?  And I don't just mean the "stuff!"  Last night was my first baby shower - the smallest of the planned showers.  I could not believe how generous folks were!  OK ... just as I was typing here, the dog barked, announcing the UPS lady at our door...

 

*** Everyone wants to know where I got the wall hanging.  Here it is.  It is from Ten Thousand Villages.  **

Update on the Boys

My heart overflows...

Of my little K...
"The nanny reported that he is working on rolling over but can't quite make it and that he reaches and holds on to toys. He does not have any teeth yet and I observed him sucking a lot on his hands. He smiles frequently and seems quite content. He is a vocal baby, singing and babbling to himself all the time."


Of my sweet A ...
"A sat close to me quietly resting his head on my shoulders as I was taking notes on the other kids. He was sucking his thumb and observing as I wrote. Sister T said that he used to be on diapers when he first came but now only needs diapers at night. She described him as shy. Sister told me of a cute story about his friendship with one nanny. In between meals, this nanny lets him take bread from the kitchen. Now he is used to doing that, so in between meals, even when she isn't there, he likes to go in the kitchen and take bread when no one is looking. He loves milk. His favorite food is injera with meat wot."

Referral Predictions... ** Edited

Remember the predictions? They were on the left sidebar of my blog and I had to take them down. It was too depressing to strike through all of the predicted dates. BUT, one of you came mighty close to predicting the gender and ages of our children.

Name	Date of Referral Guess	Gender Guess	Ages Guess	Prize for Winner
Julie	Jan 27	B/G	3 yrs, 10 mo	Visit from Three Continent Family (including Samba)
Purple Julie	Feb 1	G/G	28 mo, 6 mo	A Silver Volvo
Tanisha	Feb 6	B/G	30 mo, 8 mo	Family photo
Julia	Feb 12	B/G	8 mo, 30 mo	Framed Three Continent Family photo
Sandra	Feb 12 or 13	B/G	6 mo, 2 yrs	Home-made Ethiopian dinner
Kristine	Feb 14 (Valentine’s Day)	B/B	20 mo, 5 mo	Dinner at Three Continent Family’s Home
Mary	Feb 16	B/G	10 mo twins	Samba gets to stay with them while we go to Ethiopia
Germaine	Before Feb.28	B/G	2.5 yrs, 7 mo	Naming rights and diaper duty waiver
Jenny	Last week of Feb	B/G	2.5 yrs, 10 mo	Naming rights
Kim	Early March	B/G	2+ yrs, 6 mo	A picture as soon as we get the referral
Stacy	Mar 16	B/G	3 yrs, 3 mo	A visit with the Three Continent Family
Filoli	Mar 18	B/B	6-8 wk twins	A visit, a picture of the family and an official decree that said winner has the ability to peer through the veil of time and space...
SJ	Mar 22	B/B	6 mo, 3 yrs	?
Katy	Apr 1	G/G	Under 5 mo	?
Laurie	Apr 13	G/G	8 mo twins	Both families together to eat at an Ethiopian restaurant
Laura	Apr 16	G/G	4 mo twins	Referral is prize enough J
Stephanie	July 14	B/B		Ethiopian food in DC together
Jean	Not soon enough	B/G	7 mo, 3 yrs	Lots of time to babysit

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner is: SJ! SJ came the closest to predicting. She was right on two boys and one month shy on each of their ages at the time of referral. SJ is a local friend of mine. She is the grandmother of one, with another on the way. We are looking forward to lots of outings together with our children/grandchildren. HOWEVER, as the winner, SJ did not pick a prize. What do you all think she should get? 

EDIT**** She is the mother of FOUR.  Two boys and a girl and a ???? (just born).  She guessed "boys" because she has two grandboys on one side and things they are great!

We Have No Idea What We Are Getting Into

Thanks to my mom, little K now has a place at our table!

Registering

This is the end of the first round ... I look drunk!
Hmmm... come to think of it, that might have helped!

L, the friendship queen!

You know, the whole "registering for baby/kid stuff" process has been quite an adventure. I had been welcoming hand-me-downs from friends and family for the past two years, but had not allowed myself to actually go out there and start researching or buying baby/kids stuff that I might need for our kids. Number one, it felt like a risky step, one that would only propel my heart deeper into the desire to have a referral, to know and have our children. Number two, I didn't know if I was getting ready for itty bitty babies, toddlers, twins, boys, girls or some combination thereof.

Once we finally got our referral, I immediately wanted to go and "register." In Brazil, you "register" your child once they are born at a government office so that they have an official birth certificate, an official identity, an official place in society. Even though I was registering at Babies-R-Us, I still felt like registering was something official, something I had to do. I was registering for two very specific children, my children. They were coming into my world and I would need/want some things to help take care of them.

Babies-R-Us was an overwhelming experience. I went first with my good friend, L, who gets a crown in the friendship department for going through the ENTIRE store with me item by item. I later took Bill and he could not believe the size of the store. We are pretty committed to living a simple life, to saying no to a lot of STUFF, but here we were, pointing and scanning, needing and wanting STUFF!

Stuff, stuff, stuff that we had no idea about ... how many bottles do you need for a 6 month old? What kind of car seat do each of the kids need? What kind of car seat fits best in my car? Do you really need a humidifier? What type of diapers should we use? What type of baby sling is both comfortable for the baby and good for my back? What type of high chair? Etc, etc, etc. Aaaaaah!

I'm much better now. I have registered for lots and lots of stuff. I must have e-mailed, called every parent I know to ask about this or that product. I referred to this post by Katy a trazillion times (thanks, Katy!). I am sure I have registered for some things I won't need and forgot some essentials, but I am in full-fledge nesting gear and I think we are going to make it.

You want to know why? It is because we are registered. It is written down. The Ethiopian courts may not have declared us a family yet, but now we are registered. AND our boys have their own membership cards to our local gym. Who can argue with that?

Bright Spots

I ordered these from Liz and got them yesterday. Aren't they beautiful? I can't wait to start sending them out :) They are a bright spot in an otherwise gloomy start of the week. Still no news of travel for our entire agency - it breaks my heart little by little every day.

Check out Liz's Etsy Shop to order your own cards and support my friend, who is also waiting to travel to Ethiopia to pick up her daughter. We are with the same agency and are hoping to travel together :)

Thanks, L!

Please excuse the sweaty, frizzy, just back from yoga look. I just had to share these sweet presents! The picture frame now holds our sweet A & K's faces right by our bed. It replaced a collage that represented my wait. Apparently, one does "graduate" from waiting for a referral!

Perspective and Awe

I was inspired to write the post below after looking at these pictures.... (ignore the x's!)

For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about perspective. Exactly one month ago today, Bill and I got the phone call that will forever change our lives. We were told that after 2 years, one month and one day of waiting to adopt a sibling pair from Ethiopia, that our wait was coming to an end. We were told of two little boys, one 3 years old and one 5 months old. God willing, these two little boys are going to legally be our children in Ethiopia soon and we will be able to go and bring them into our family.

Were you to take three pictures of life in our household 5 months ago, you would see three very different pictures, just like the pictures I saw on that blog. In one you would probably see me looking very tired and weary of waiting, probably talking with Bill over dinner, both of us wondering why we were having to be the ones to wait the longest for siblings in Ethiopian adoption history, wondering what God was trying to teach us through this wait that was already a year and a half longer than we originally thought. Wondering, where is God? Wondering, is God listening?

Zoom out a bit for the second picture. In it, you would see our home among many in our particular community. You would see children playing outside in the street, you would see our neighbors coming in from a long day’s work. You would see a community changing for the better. You would see a lot of hope.

If you were able to zoom way out so that you could see everyone in the world, you might see a tiny baby boy being born all the way across the world in Ethiopia. You might see his 2 ½ year old brother wide-eyed and wondering what was happening. What was happening?

Two people eating dinner, children playing, people coming home from work, a baby being born, his big brother watching, families in crisis, families in pain, families being created in ways we can’t begin to understand, in ways that leave us with nothing but AWE.