I have been missing Brazil so much lately. I've been playing Brazilian music, following a couple of new favorite blogs of Americans living in Brazil, making Brazilian food - even watching some Brazilian TV on the internet. My life story is to belong to two places and neither one all at once. Here, I miss it there, there, I miss it here. I'm a bit "foreign" in either place. It is so hard to describe the crazy longing that I get in my soul for Brazil. Saudade is the only word. I wonder who I would have been had I never left, I am grateful for who I am and the experiences I have had ... two-sided emotions.
I wonder what my children will feel about Ethiopia. They will be leaving it much earlier than I left Brazil, but they will carry Ethiopia very visibly while Brazil is not something people always know about me. No answers today, just longing....
for Brazil.....
for my children .....
It is a sweet melancholy ...
I leave you with a bit of my favorite singer, Djavan ... I saw this clip on Lovely Dharma (love her blog!)
Oh Evelyn, I'm so sorry ... I know that must be tough. Praying for you! I love the music clip. I wish you lived up the street from me. I'd be happy to eat your Brazilian food and be a shoulder for you :D
ReplyDeletehttp://laist.com/2009/04/01/david_rousseve.php
ReplyDeleteI saw this right after reading your post.
Hugs.
I too would like to live up the road (for some reason I imagine the crocodiles as down the road and up the road ad croc free!) and then I could stop by for some Brazilian food.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine what it must feel like. How lovely to be from a place with such beautiful music and food that you can be melancholy and soulful at the same time.
The four of you are in my prayers.
I wish it was me eating the Brazilian food about now. Last night I was reading a book for literally hours because I could not sleep. Had some of my own melancholy going on, I guess. In the book, the author talked about the best times of her life. And actually, some of the times she discussed were not "happy" times. She gave herself credit for being brave enough to withstand the difficult times and that made them feel good to her. Like Kristine said, it's a soulful and melancholy. Waiting and missing. Two difficult things at the same time. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteChristine
Beautiful song. My father's wife is from Sao Vicente. Just stopping by to say hello.
ReplyDeleteCindy
Such a pretty song. I wish I understood the words. I can't BELEIVE my prediction got crossed off. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI've been feeling this feeling lately, too, for a couple of different reasons. We didn't go to Puerto Rico this year, for the first time in many, many years. Puerto Rico has become a part of me, too, and I miss it so much. I feel the longing, for both a country and a past that I have lost, and I imagine that you must feel this feeling SO much more intensely than I do for your beloved Brazil, which is much more a part of you than Puerto Rico is for me. (How 'bout that for a Latin-american literature type sentence? :)).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I feel for you. I hope you can visit Brazil with your children sometime in the not-too-far-away future. What a fun and beautiful combination that will be! Are you planning on speaking Portuguese to them? Especially if they are young, I suggest you go for it, maybe do the "one-person-one-language" thing, no reservations (you Portuguese, your hubby English?). Zufan is doing just as well with her Spanish as she is with English.
OK, too much blah blah blah from me here. :) I better go run. Literally. Have a great weekend!