Referral Day, Part IV - Love!!!

Monday (9-21-09): AGONY – no news yet.

Tuesday: Instead of the promised 48 hours, it takes them 51 hours (I counted!) to get back with us. Seems like every child in the county decides to get the flu when I need their doctor’s attention. (I know, it is not all about me, but come on!)

There is a problem. A PROBLEM!!!! I never prepared myself for a problem!!! The doctor tells us to ask for more information from Ethiopia. We do and are told it could be several days. We are completely deflated. We have what is now a HUGE, WONDERFUL SECRET that we can’t share. We decide to accept the referral officially no matter what by Friday, with or without the updated info.

Wednesday: More agony. I am begging God for good news and for news soon. I feel unfairly treated by God and the universe – the longest wait for a referral from Ethiopia in history (though I have not checked this fact), a reaction I was ashamed of at the point of referral, a long wait for medical clearance and now this??? I was so ready to enter FULLY into joy.

Thursday: Even though WH staff were in meetings all day, at noon, our social worker sneaks me an e-mail – we have the medical info! We immediately send it to the adoption clinic. The nurse there takes the info to the doctor personally and they get back with us in less than 30 minutes. ALL IS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We immediately start telling the world. Bill calls a staff meeting at our organization and there is joy. I am on cloud 9! I decide I will go to yoga with a friend at 4 (I needed it!). Before that, we run to get papers notarized, I go to the bank (YIKES), all the while calling people on my cell phone to tell them of the good news. I am thrilled beyond thrilled to hear my friends say, one after the other, that I made their day or their week. Finally, this is real! Our moms are finally released from their oath to secrecy and can go public with their ridiculously cute ga-ga-ness. There is so much joy all around us.

That evening, I had double booked myself and felt terrible for not being at the first “Crafting With Spirit” group meeting. But it turned out to be a memorable night. Bill and I had been given $150 tickets to a fancy fundraising soiree downtown. Lucky for us, we only knew one couple there, so instead of having to make the rounds of small talk, we were privately celebrating what is happening to us in the middle of a crowd of people. I am visibly glowing (according to the one couple we knew) and we are enjoying good food, wine and super yummy fancy sweets of all kinds.

Friday: Bill says it is so nice to see me SO happy. I had not been this happy in a very long time. We bought each of the boys a set of PJ’s & one outfit. I snuggled with their PJ’s for a long time. It was as though I’d already been through a lot with them already.

Since then, a woman who was in Ethiopia to pick up her daughter the week before our referral sent me pictures of our oldest, A. I showed Bill and he asked, “Is that our son?” He looks so beautiful! He is smiling, unlike the referral photo.

For 2 years, 1 month and 1 day, I imagined and envisioned all kinds of scenarios for what my family would look like. Those visions helped me to survive the wait. On Friday, September the 18th, 2009, I almost didn’t recognize my children. Their picture, their story, contained more than I could ever have imagined or envisioned. They were no longer this vision I held. They were two very real little boys, very much needing a family. We were two souls, very much needing children. I was unprepared for reality, for how two little people would awaken a love I’ve never felt before in my life – a love that is already very deep, visceral and fierce! God had truly taken me by surprise. THIS reality is more than I could have dreamed or asked for. It is more, so much, so much MORE!