Mommy Reset

The new mommy, by A

2010 was an amazing year, but also one of the most challenging years in my own personal history.  I had just become a mom.  I found out my baby had hearing loss. I battled anxiety.  I broke two bones.  I sent my oldest child to school for the first time.  I spent the summer from h*** in and out of hospitals and doctor's appointments for both boys and for myself.  I survived the humidity and heat of our city during all of the above.

For 2011, I have been given a brand spanking new year's present:  a reset button.  I get a complete break from my 2010 routines.  I get a chance to re-organize my life after the dust has somewhat settled from our first year home.

First of all, I am working again.  It is only in the afternoons and only for a very few months, but I am back as the Director of the afterschool program I began eight years ago.  We have had some staff changes and until the new director arrives in March, I am back at it again.  I've exchanged the responsibility for two little boys in the afternoon, for that of 40 kids.  The change is doing me good.  And the boys are left in very capable hands:  Bill's!  He has shifted his schedule so that he stays home three afternoons and on two afternoons, a very sweet babysitter is here.  It is good for all of us.  Fresh air.  It will especially be good for my relationship with A.  He and I are the ones that need a major "reset" button, for we push each others buttons all afternoon long (he goes to school in the mornings). Now our time is shorter, but sweeter, and I have a chance to step back and figure out how to be his mom in more a more positive way.

I am also upping my exercise routine to: regular.  It was anything but regular last year and my entire being needs my body to be stronger, leaner, tougher.  At the gym, I have been listening to Creating a Family podcasts.  I have such little time/energy to read adoption books, but many of these podcasts on attachment, bonding, behavioral issues, learning, etc. have been wonderful resources for me as a parent.  They are my pep-talks before I go back home and face the day.  It has been so good for me to step back, to remember why I am doing this, to remind myself of what kind of mother I want to be, to get a glimpse of the bigger picture again.

Another thing I chose to start off the year was a major detox.  I have never weighed as much as I weighed at the end of 2010.  I don't blame myself nor am I beating myself up over it, but it is time to change.  I was dealing with so much last year, and eating is just so darn pleasurable for me, but all good things must come to an end :)  I found a mind/body detox here that I have been following.  So far, I have lost 6 pounds, my mind is clearer and so is my outlook. I took a big blog/facebook break, but now I am back. 

I feel really good.  My life feels different, yet the same.  I am not starting the year with anything I am unfamiliar with.  The feeling I have, which I haven't had in a while is this:  I can do it.

Happy 2011 to all of you.  I have missed you.  I have a new bulletin board above my little desk, full of pictures of many of you, my dear friends.  Thanks for the beautiful pictures of your families.  I look forward to sharing another year of our adventures together!