Thoughts on Conspicuousness (Part 1)

Our Sunday morning church routine usually goes like this - I take the boys with me, Boo-boo goes in the nursery and Scootle goes to a big kids' class.  I go to an adult forum.  Once that is over, Boo remains in the nursery, I pick up Scootle, and we go into the worship service.  Early on, there is a time for children to go to the front of the church and hear a story, then they are ushered out by some volunteers for some play time outside for the remainder of the service.  At the end, I go and collect both boys from the nursery/outside play.  Recently, I have started taking Boo in to the worship service along with Scootle.  Then they both go outside and play.  As Boo is getting introduced to "big church," I don't always take him in there.

Last Sunday, I was late coming out of the adult forum and did not have Scootle (he went to another church with Bill), so I chose to leave Boo in the nursery.  When I walked in, I realized our beloved nursery worker had brought in all the kids and was sitting with them in the front.  The church was packed, so I just sat in the back, looking longingly at my Boo.  He did not see me.  I began to get more and more uncomfortable and wanted to leap over people to go and hold my boy.  He was sitting on the beloved nursery worker's lap and I could not even concentrate.  She and Boo have a very sweet relationship.  I would say that outside the family, she is the person he is closest to.  So I was feeling quite jealous.  Crazy, huh?  Not of their relationship, but because Boo is so beautiful and I love that he is mine, but for all of the visitors in the church that day, Boo was clearly HER child.  She is African-American.  They MATCHED.  No one would ever think he belonged to the anxious lady in the back.