Unexpected Tenderness

My sweet, wonderful, talented Bill has gotten an opportunity to go to South Africa for 10 days.  I am so proud of him.  He left this morning.  This is the longest any of us will be apart since being a family of four.  I have been a little nervous about 10 days of solo mom (lowering my head in embarrassment before all single moms out there).  I have been especially nervous because, let's face it, I get anxious and angry easily - something I'd been able to hide for years by spending time in solitude and meditation, which now, are, of course, absolutely, gone from my life.  Anyhoo, I don't want to get snotty with my rambunctious boyses, so I have planned a trip to visit BOTH sets of grandparents.  I will only be solo mom for about three days.  Thank goodness for grandparents!!

Today, my anxiety level was raised considerably, because I woke up with all of the symptoms of a big, bad, painful cold - not the everyday kind, but the nasty kind.  The sea urchin is back and making itself comfy in my throat, my head throbs with pain and all my muscles ache.  One good side of me being sick is that it makes me incredibly low energy and mellow.  I have been sweet as pie to Scootle-doot and Boo-boo today.  I've been able to go with the flow because I am too weak to fight the flow.  We all napped half the afternoon, played outside and had our normal bed-time routines.

Here is where the unexpected tenderness comes in.  To be straightforward, the particular boy that sends my temperature through the roof is Scootle-doot.  He bothers his brother, he screams a lot, he doesn't listen - you know - four year old stuff with a little extra spice thrown in.  We are incredibly alike - bad combo.  Anyway, tonight, I sat them both on my bed to read.  I told Scootle-doot that Mommy didn't feel good, that my legs and head hurt a lot.

**** An aside:  Scootle was a tiny boy for his age when we brought him home from Ethiopia.  He has grown so incredibly fast in the past 15 months - from wearing 24 mo clothes to now 5T.  All of this growing has given him terrible shin splints that Bill and I massage for him to get relief. ****

So when I told him that mommy's head and legs hurt, he didn't even blink.  He put one of his hands on my leg and one on my forehead and he began massaging me in exactly the way we massage him.  He asked me if I felt better, earnestly as could be.  Son, you have no idea.